Tuesday, 21 October 2014

The Cardinal Rules of Social Media

As I approached a group of friends I catch the end of their conversation that went something like this "... And she likes her own photos. So weird!" Later I wondered if I have ever broke Facebook law and liked any of my photos and if liking photos I am tagged in count? After much reflection I am anxious over how many social media rules I have broken, why I wasn’t aware of these rules before signing up and should I just crawl under a rock and exile myself from the social media world.

I have since extensively researched the social media bible to see how many sins I have committed and what shame I have put upon my friends and family. Hopefully you can learn from my lessons…   

You are what you like... Retweet\share\follow
According to my last likes I’m fat, single and freaking awesome. #Winning

Tit for tat eg Like4Like Follow4Follow
So this is the equation for popularity, to pretty much spam people?
This is different from real life, in real life we hate spam. I’m so confused!!

Put your review options on to avoid ugly tagging
Ok what is this app and where can I get my hands on it. WTF!!! Had I known that my ugly photos would be social suicide I would have become a recluse and save me from the humiliation I have caused myself.

Don’t air your dirty laundry
I’m a sucker for a good social media war. All that indirect references and passive aggressive posts get my spidey senses tingling.  The stalker detective in me has me searching for clues. I’ve seen friendships end, divorces start and towns divided over a simple status. Ahh Facebook – creating and ruining relationships since 2004

Don't poke anyone. Ever. 
Ok I agree with this one. Don’t do it, it’s creepy.

You are allowed to keep any instagram photo with 11 or more likes
The 11th like on instagram is the golden moment when your likes turn from listing the likees’ names to numbering the amount of likes you receive. Basically, it justifies your existence in this world.

Avoid posting too many selfies in a row – it’s arrogant
Well some of us don’t have a personal photographer following them around. How else am I supposed to showcase my fabulous makeup, hair or outfit? No one will get to see my #ootd!

#Dont #over #hashtag
#F #M #L #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dying of the mortification – K THX BYE


Ivy x

1 comment:

  1. Fabulous!

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Thanks for the comments you beautiful creatures

Ivy and Loan xx